A Male Bridget Jones

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A Male Bridget Jones

by Aiwudz @ 2006-10-02 – 18:47:20

Listening to: 'Hell Town Story', from Level 42's new album 'Retroglide'

Ever since I once said I'm not 'a male Bridget Jones', I've found it harder and harder to get this mental self-image out of my head. Hmmm.

In some ways, I'm confident and outgoing. In other ways, I'm shy and introverted. I've certainly never got the hand of talking to girls/women/ladies I find attractive. Well, in real life, anyway. In the on-line world, I have no trouble saying more or less anything to more or less anyone, but when it comes to making (even mildly) flirtatious comments to attractive females, I soon remember why I don't do this in real life, i.e. I get no response. Whence my current mildly despondent mood.

The essence of my predicament is this: the females to whom I am attracted aren't attracted to me. Such being the case...

a) I find some way of making myself attractive to said women
b) I re-align my senses so I find other women attractive
c) I resign myself to the idea that the whole women-and-me thing isn't going to happen
d) I try not to think about it.

Which is the best course of action?
Options:

8 Comments to A Male Bridget Jones

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- menhir
- 2006-10-02 @ 19:01:28
Start dwelling on the sunnier dispositions available to you and concentrate on enjoying interactions and friendships; they all hve more substance than shallow, flirtatious experiences, which as you say, don't work for you. If that's not you, don't try to do it. Most people who play those games are not very secure in themselves, you may perceive they are, but you can bet your bottom dollar they are anything but...
- - Aiwudz
  - 2006-10-03 @ 06:05:01
  This is *just* the sort of thing I need to keep in mind; I know that that's a good interpretation of reality; my real weakness is lapsing into a superficially comforting faulty interpretation which ultimately just makes a bad mood worse.
  - - ViEiRA
    - 2006-10-13 @ 14:04:35
    I totally agree with the above commenter. I have the same problem as you. Although I have a steady boyfriend, I'm not very good at relationships because I don't know how to stick up for myself without causing an argument, and my relations with the outside world are odd. I would have no problem standing up and speaking in front of a room, say, but I find personal relationships difficult. I always feel like there's a barrier there. Friends say this is all on my side and they don't perceive it or find it hard to get close to me, but it doesn't make me feel any better
    
    I hope you find the one for you And, before you do, remember that being single is fun, relationships suck unless they're perfect, so don't dive into one unless you're certain that a) you want that person now, and b) you'll be able to leave them if you ever don't anymore. I've been stuck too many times in my life feeling that I don't want my boyfriend, but I can't leave him 'cos he hasn't actually done anything wrong, and I'll never find anyone better...
    
    God bless, Jenni xx
    - - Aiwudz
      - 2006-10-15 @ 18:56:43
      Far too considered a comment for me not to comment on it myself!
      
      In terms of not being able to stand up for oneself in a non-confrontational way, that's a really good way of putting into words a predicament I've known more that once.
      
      In terms of being more at ease in addressing a group than in personal situations (particularly than in, so to speak, personal personal situations) and of feeling a certain barrier, snap! Unlike you, though, I've never been able to pluck up the courage to discuss stuff like this with my friends.
      
      It is, of course, always worth remembering that being single is immeasurably preferable than being in a bad relationship.
      - ViEiRA
        
        2006-10-18 @ 16:33:28
        
        I think if you did discuss this with your friends, they'd be quite surprised and want to help you get over it. They would say they've never perceived any barrier.
        
        If you really can't do this, at least discuss it with God. I'm sure you do
        
        I'm about to find out whether your last statement is true It wasn't even a bad relationship, just... not the one for me... I think there may not even be a one for me. I'm quite happy with the thought of being single forever.
        
        God bless, Jenni xx
        
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- skip2468
- 2006-10-02 @ 20:20:07
I would suggest that that it is wise to never judge a book by its cover, nor rush where angels fear to tread.

Better that you possibly circulate a little more, always be as pleasant as possible and be sure to keep your personal standards at the usual high level.

Genuine friendly smiles are much better than many meaningless often unheard words. Smiles really are contagious and often lead to closer and more permanenent friendships.

Worth thinking about ?
- - Aiwudz
  - 2006-10-03 @ 06:03:16
  Wise indeed!
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- Aiwudz
- 2006-10-19 @ 20:01:10
Mmm...my friends certainly would be surprised as I've never talked to them about it! To be frank, I've never really got the impression that my friends think of me as the sort of person to have relationships, never mind problems with them. To put it differently, my friends by and large seem to think that I'm one of those people who was 'just meant' to be single forever (see previous blog entry on my views on Fate!).

Seriously, though, it doesn't usually get me down.
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